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Problems at home with the kids..

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Problems at home with the kids..

Post by creativefunfaces on Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:29 pm

I am a 32 year old mother of two. My youngest is a 6 year old boy. He is the funniest, brightest little one you would ever meet. He was just diagnosed with Autism about a month ago. Along with senory issues, adhd, and anxiety disorder. My daughter, who is 10, was today diagnosed with depression with psychotic features, and a learning disorder nos " twice exeptional". Which means she is super smart in some areas, but slow in others.
I work in a pedatric office and have for 6 years now. My job was always pleasent untill reciently. I decided to cut my hours down to one day a week in order to care for my children, hoping that the face painting money would help make up the difference. It isnt enough though. I am struggling to make up my mind to go back to work or stay with the kids. They have done so much better with me at home. Even the schools can see the difference. My current job isnt very understanding about my issues at this time, and for this reason did not give me a raise this year. If I am to go back to work I think it may have to be at another practice. But I have to say I will miss the children. Having worked there for 6 years, I have watched as they have all grown. I am torn. I feel hurt that I have stuck it out so long there, concidering the employees call the place a revolving door, and I have been there the longest.
Sorry, I have just grown apart from my girl friends when I had my children and dont have many people to talk to.
Tomorrows my one day at work for the week, lets hope for a drama free, happy day... Rolling Eyes .

sunny Amy sunny
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by Miss Ronnie on Wed Apr 04, 2012 10:46 pm

Amy, we often need to let our hearts out here to the girls (and guys!) of the forum.... and isn't nice to know that we can turn here? I don't want to offer any advice because I would hate to steer you the wrong way. It is wonderful that your children have thrived with you being at home. If you are at all prayerful, I would just put the whole situation to prayer right now... eventually there will be a path that will be right for you to take.

Feel free to private message me if you need someone to talk to. Neutral
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by creativefunfaces on Wed Apr 04, 2012 11:02 pm

Thanks for your kind words Miss Ronnie. I will pray more about this. This has been such a hard choice to make.
Thank you!
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by Psalmbook on Thu Apr 05, 2012 6:16 am

We had similar circumstances right after moving to Jacksonville, FL 15 yrs ago. Our bright wonderful daughter who was an honor role student started getting Cs & Ds & had such anxiety. It was her classroom environment. She went from a wonderful, loving caring teacher & a great school program to a hateful, mean woman that should have retired long ago. That is when we made the decision to homeshool her & eventually all our kids.

I also have a child in the spectrum (he's 10) & would never fit in a conventional classroom.

I'm praying for you & that you can find a job that works w/ your families needs. It can be a tough decision (especially now days when we need 2 incomes) to make decisions that work best for the family. We had to see where we could cut back expenses to live on 1 1/2 our income.
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by creativefunfaces on Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:25 am

Thank you Linda.
It is so hard with the schools. They are only now beginning to work properly with my son because they a legally liable. My daughter has begged me to home school her, and I have even looked into it. I also looked into magnet schools, but they dont seem to be the right fit for her. One of my family members home schools. I will have to get in contact with her and see if this is something I should do.
Thank you for your prays, and for sharing your simalar struggles as well. It really helps to here that you have made it through this. I'm sure your children are so happy with you for teaching them. The school systems just dont do what they need to, to protect the little ones.
My daughter is bullied. They switched her classes, but only ended up taking one bully away and adding a new one. She is over sensitive, and its hard to say how much is far feched.....she perceives things differenly, thats part of her illness. I have found my self so angered at times though in situations where I have witnessed the bulling, this time by a teacher, that I pulled her from school for the day. I spoke with the school on that account and the teacher was spoken to, and I was told at that point she had not understood how serious her mental status was. She had earlier in the day, at school, spoke of suicide. I think she just thought my daughter was being weird, and didnt want to do her work, and there for was mad at her.
Any way... I could go on and on.
I'm just glad to get some of this out of my system. I'm gonna look into support lines soon I think.
Thanks for everyones kind helpful words I love you

Amy

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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by Psalmbook on Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:04 am

My heart breaks when I hear stuff like this. Just be your child's advocate. Are there programs or special schools for exceptional children in your area? We have a scholarship for kids who can't get the help they need in public school & many private schools are geared towards exceptional kids & their needs. they except these scholarships. My kids don't qualify because we'd have to put them in public school 1st & believe it would be a bad choice, just so they could try a program that may or may not work. What we've done has worked for them(my oldest is 24 yrs old now & headed to grad school, my 2nd is graduating this year, my other 2 are in highschool & my youngest is 10). We've homeschooled for 15 yrs now.
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by Taradoodles on Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:56 am

*hugs* This is a hard time and Im sorry its so tough. I dont have advice but I can always listen.
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by billiebcc on Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:12 pm

Amy-
I am so sorry you are going through this. Your kids are around the same age as mine. My son is 7 and has SID, sensory integration disorder. The school says he is borderline for classifying in any other area of help so they bump him up. It's very frustrating. We are meeting again with the teacher next week. He is super smart, but just has "issues". My daughter is very sensitive as well, especially more so since losing my parents so close together and so suddenly.
I can certainly understand where you are coming from and sympathize with you. I quite one job I had worked at a Cancer Center for a few years as my supervisor was not accommodating to family's needs.
<>
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by bemusedart on Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:53 pm

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. When we made the decision for me to stay home 13 years ago we really focused on what it would mean to us financially as well as the benefits of me being home with the kids.
One thing that really struck me was how little profit we actually had from me working outside the home. Between the drive to work, the second car, the office clothes (I was a secretary for a VP of an internet company), lunches with co-workers, eating out because I was exhausted from working and the commute, day care. Even though I made 2/3 what my husband made, by our calculations my total profit was only $3k a year.
We made some hard choices to save that $3k a year when I chose to stay home and that first couple years before my daughter was born, we did better than that.
It did mean going down to one car and dh taking the bus to work, me walking to pick my son up from school, or riding a bike, cooking more from scratch, line drying the clothes (save 50 cents every time you don't run the dryer). Other than the insurance on the second car, it was a whole bunch of tiny savings.]
Check out your local library for the book Tightwad Gazette, Some of the ideas were a bit extreme for me, but some where life savers. I still use the universal muffin and universal casserole recipes for quick and easy meals when life is hectic. The crustless quiche in that book was the first thing my son learned to cook for himself.
I wasn't big into making my own cleaning supplies and laundry detergent, but I kept the basic supplies on hand for those times I just needed to make it until pay day.
Also check out a local produce co-op. They are becoming more popular now. I use one that is only $15 for a week's worth of produce for the family, and if I have the time to volunteer for sorting (usually about 30 of my time), I get extra food. A friend and I take turns picking up for each other to save gas money.
A lot of savings can be found if you just sit down and figure out exactly how much you need to save. And it can help you figure out how much you need to make as well and might help motivate you. One of my ways to fund the little luxuries we enjoyed was buying and selling vintage fabrics that I would find at local estate sales. Now I work as a fantasy artist and trying my hand at face painting.
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by Becky521 on Fri Apr 06, 2012 5:13 am

I don't know the right words to say about your specif I love you ic situation, but like miss Ronnie, I do believe in the power of prayer! Whatever you decide, you will be doing it in the best interest of your family. Any change is hard at first, but whatever routine you choose, your family will adapt and God will continue to watch over you and your babies. It is so sad and scary that the teacher didn't recognize a suicide threat for what it was- "Notice that I need help!". Whether she thought your child was trying to get out of work or not, you NEVER take that kind of talk lightly! I personally have battled anxiety and depression for years. These diseases can truly affect every aspect of your life. A good Christian counselor is what has REALLY helped me. Some take health insurance, and some will negotiate prices to help meet your family's needs. I do pray that your path is made clear and that you are able to receive the help and guidance you need to lead your children to reach their fullest potential. Remember, God has plans for them too! No hardship is without reason, so God must have big plans for your family!
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Re: Problems at home with the kids..

Post by creativefunfaces on Fri Apr 06, 2012 11:00 am

Thank you everyone for all your support! I really need it, and this has helped so much. I know I have a long road ahead of me, and that I need to be strong.

~T~ Thanks for the hugs, and for listening. All this support has made me feel much better. I love you

~Angela~ Thank you for sharing your struggles with me as well. So sorry about your loss. That cant be easy on the children. Grandparents play such an important role in there lives. I reciently lost my Grandmother, and it has been very hard on my mother. It is just nice to talk about the good times we spent together and remember her the way she was before she got sick. This seems to help my mother feel better. Thank you again, and I pray that your family also gets through this hard time.
I love you Amy

~bemusedart~ Thank you for all your excellent advise with some great money saving ideas. I have just started doing some things similar lately. Coupons, making my own cleaning supplies, and tring to find the best deals. The next step will have to also be cutting back on some things.
I will look for the book you mentioned.
Thank you! I love you

~Becky~ Thank you for your prays! I love how you said (No hardship is without reason, so God must have big plans for your family!) and how God had plans for my children. I have been praying so much lately and this really touched my heart I love you .


Thank you everyone!!!
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