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Breakup....

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Breakup....

Post by girlbyjuly on Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:39 am

My relationship of 3 1/2 years is ending. My first big heartbreak, really. He wants to move back to our hometown in Northern California and I want to stay here, down south. It's really hard to be breaking up with someone you still love.

Anybody got words of wisdom for me? Tips? Besides listening to lots of sad music, because I've got that one covered... Sad
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Doe on Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:41 am

It's tough. I've got no advice, really, but here are some (((hugs))) for you.
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Miss Ronnie on Tue Jun 05, 2012 11:54 am

Oh Sarah... it is so hard, isn't it?...to give your heart away and then not get it back the way it was before.

Shed as many tears as you need to... then, I say you should somehow seek out a group of children to paint (friends, neighbors, whatever!) and lose yourself in their innocent joy! I love you
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Re: Breakup....

Post by girlbyjuly on Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:14 pm

Thanks guys! It's also really hard because my family knows but hardly any of my friends do because we're not technically broken up (Facebook-official-wise) yet. I'm giving it a few days but I feel like I'm missing that support of everyone knowing! Sounds weird, but true. At least I've got my family!
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Re: Breakup....

Post by vegas mom on Tue Jun 05, 2012 12:39 pm

3 1/2 years is a long time to be with someone and then have it end. Its never easy at first. It does get easier.. when your ready let a few of your closest friends in and let them take you places and keep you busy. I also love Miss Ronnies idea of enjoying the smiling faces of young children you paint. For now tho lots of hugs and support
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Re: Breakup....

Post by cattsy on Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:19 pm

Awww honey... My heart goes out to you.

Here is my philosophy and what I've learned from my relationships and my own heartbreaks.

Every person that comes into our lives, has something to teach us. Every person that we have a deep emotional connection with, shows us something about ourselves. Love is evr changing, and it doesn't always last forever, but there is TRUTH in the saying it is better to have loved and lost than never loved at all.

Allowing ourselves to be "In love" with someone only makes us better. We learn what we want in a relationship, what works, what doesn't what is important to us.

When a relationship ends it's a very hard thing! There's usually a million reasons, and not caring about that person usually isn't one of them. Just because you can't live with them any more doesn't mean you don't still love them. I feel so sad for people that allow a breakup to become nasty for petty reasons and lose the friendship with that person. You love(d) them for a reason, and just cause the relationship failed doesn't mean that you (or them) are bad people, it just wasn't the right time, place, or you hadn't learned the right lessons and it's time to move on.

It's okay to hurt, it's okay to be angry, it is OKAY to grieve. You're grieving the loss of the future you might have had, so let yourself go through that process, but I encourage you to be gentle with yourself, and with each other, and realize that this is just the relationship evolving, not necessarily ending, just isn't what it was, and that you will both go through it, learn from it and grow from it. Love each other even as you leave each other, if that makes any sense.

Love can cure everything, even a broken heart.
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Re: Breakup....

Post by PerfectlyPaintedFaces on Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:06 pm

What a bummer! Sad

As sad as it may sound, I've only had 3 relationships. BUT each one has lasted a minimum of three years. My current boyfriend and I have been dating for about 3 and a half years, and things are perfect. But enough about me!

Having been through the long-term relationship break-up (LTRBU?) twice, I can tell you that time is the only thing that will heal your wounds. Right now they're obviously very fresh, and will be painful. Treat yourself well, reconnect with friends and learn to rely on them for support. Do things that make you feel good about you AND keep your mind off the break-up, like going to the gym, volunteering, etc.

Just try to keep positive. A year from now (or hopefully less), you'll look back on this moment and realize it was a good thing. Something to help you keep moving forward and discovering BETTER things.

I look back at my past relationships with humour now. Time is a funny healer. My brain seems to think I never dated my exes, and I cringe at the thought of ever getting (ahem) intimate with them. We definitely work better as friends!
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Re: Breakup....

Post by leapinglizards on Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:11 pm

BIG HUGS! As many know my husband of 8 years and I recently seperated and it is similar in that we both love each other tremendously... In fact, I can;t imagine my life spent with anyone else. So, I feel for you. It is hard. Stay in touch with your support folks! HUGS!

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Re: Breakup....

Post by Lauri Strandell on Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:11 pm

Time, time, time ...... and more time, just one thing you have no control over. I truly wish you the best

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Re: Breakup....

Post by girlbyjuly on Tue Jun 05, 2012 4:55 pm

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the kind words. I really am living the "If you love them, let them go" cliche. I believe that if we are truly meant to be we will find a way back to each other.
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Re: Breakup....

Post by anniel on Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:19 am

The best cure for a lost love is a new love...(not necessarily a person--but a passion!
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Becky521 on Wed Jun 06, 2012 6:28 am

When I was very young my boyfriend of 3 years moved across the country. It was so heart-breaking to not see or even talk to him everyday (pre-internet, pre-cell phone even!) We tried to have a long distance relationship, but it became clear quickly that we would never be together again. When I was ready to date again, I started dating my best friend who is now my husband of 12 years and I know everything worked out exactly the way it should.

My heart goes out to you while you heal. Sometimes in this world of electronic social media I think it's harder to cope with the ups and downs of real life, but on the flip side, it opens you up to more people who can listen and lift you up when you are down. :-)

BTW - if you were my daughter, I'd totally kick his butt for moving away and breaking your heart! ;-)
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Face Painting by Jessica on Wed Jun 13, 2012 12:57 pm

I'm so sorry to hear about your break-up... They were never something I could handle well, I would head right for the bottle...

But it really IS for the better, you've got a life plan and it will all work out. If I never split with my ex I wouldn't have my daughter now, and I'd probably still be running a muck through the streets.

Good Luck!
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Re: Breakup....

Post by anniel on Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:42 pm

Jessica...have you seen your avatar? (If that is YOU, and not your work...well, just saying...)
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Face Painting by Jessica on Wed Jun 13, 2012 3:03 pm

Anniel, I'm not sure I understand what you're saying. My avatar is me, and I painted it myself...
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Re: Breakup....

Post by anniel on Wed Jun 13, 2012 4:50 pm

it the "still running amuck through the streets look" lol! [u]
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Face Painting by Jessica on Wed Jun 13, 2012 5:18 pm

Ah yes! I often frighten the catholic children for fun. I just run the streets all tigerfied and hide in the bushes by the church.
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Manabanana on Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:07 pm

So sorry to hear of your situation.

if it was ment to be, it will happen. I know it can be heart breaking and somedays you might want to stay in bed, but by putting your feelings into you work or even writing, helps heal tremendously.

I am right now spliting from an 8 year relationship that went very sour and it is incredibly heartbreaking how something so good can turn so bad.

Thinking of you.
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Re: Breakup....

Post by veelux on Wed Jun 13, 2012 9:20 pm

Do your best to remain positive and keep some faith, there is strength and support just a whisper or thought away. Your life is changing for a reason and once you get through the darkness of sadness, you will see the wonderful bright side of your new direction...be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel how you feel, and as time passes, you will find more and more strength and happiness. Somedays you just have to indulge in something "silly" and let yourself get lost in it, find your inner child! Best of luck Sweetheart!!
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Re: Breakup....

Post by Tuli* on Thu Jun 28, 2012 7:02 pm

Aww I feel ur pain! I hope u are doing fine by now! Im currently on a relationship of 5 YEARS!! however, Im looking at it die little by little No Big hugs!
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