Face Paint Forum
Register today to be part of the BEST face painting community on the planet. You just aren't cool if you aren't a member!

Funerals--just my thoughts

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by amylady222 on Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:04 pm

I went to my first funeral on Friday since my own father passed away in 2009.
A close friend of my husband passed away suddently (not suicide) and totally shocked everyone. He was only 32 and has a beautiful 10 year old daughter.
I sang at it and I don't know how anyone can sing without crying, but I pulled it together to finish strong, by shaky.

We have had 4 deaths in our community in the last 3 weeks. An elderly woman, who was ready to go, our friend, a man my husband did business with died in a truck accident (42), and another man who was greatly loved in our community had a heart attack and a week later passed away (50). We have had a lot of funerals in our area lately and lots of heart ache.

My own father had a bike accident which left him brain dead and 3 months later passed away. Today in 2009 we buried him. It is amazing how the pain is so much less now, but can hit so acutely when tragic things happen.

Don't know why I needed to share, but sometimes it helps to get things off your chest.

On a more interesting note, I have heard that when a clown passes away, they paint the persons clown face on an hallow egg and bury it with them.
avatar
amylady222

Number of posts : 1176
Age : 37
Location : San Luis Valley, Colorado
Registration date : 2012-08-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by anniel on Wed Oct 03, 2012 1:10 pm

Amy, hugs to all...
avatar
anniel

Number of posts : 2313
Location : Denver
Registration date : 2010-12-27

http://entertainment-etc.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by PaintedFaces on Wed Oct 03, 2012 3:22 pm

Big hugs from me too. That's a lot to happen in a short space of time. Sad
avatar
PaintedFaces

Number of posts : 465
Location : New Zealand
Registration date : 2012-06-29

http://www.paintedfaces.co.nz

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by l!zzie on Wed Oct 03, 2012 4:29 pm

That's a lot of grief in a short time.
Sending you and your loved ones warm thoughts and a big hug!
avatar
l!zzie

Number of posts : 2256
Age : 48
Location : the Netherlands, Tegelen
Registration date : 2011-09-28

http://www.detiskwant.nl

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Kammy on Wed Oct 03, 2012 5:20 pm

That's rough. It does sometimes seem that life makes a conscious effort to remind us of mortality all at once, in as many ways as possible, doesn't it?

I'm very sorry for your losses - that's a lot of people to lose in such a short time. Hope you're being gentle with yourself.

Hugs,

Kammy x
avatar
Kammy

Number of posts : 1408
Age : 44
Location : Edinburgh, Scotland
Registration date : 2012-09-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by facetheart on Wed Oct 03, 2012 9:04 pm

Jim Walsh a great amazing long time clown for probablly 50 yeaad just passed away here in Canada. He has done tons of charity work and was pretty much the spokesperson for Help A Child Smile. Last year he just rode a tandem bike with a clown friend of mine and now he has passed. I hope they made an egg like you say for him sounds so kind.
Amy lady I know how that feels my father passed in 2009 as well and on fathers day. Not a day goes by that I am not saddeded by his loss it is always weighing on my heart. I used to be able to fall asleep on my own now I can;t because tem I thing to much so I have to be on the computer or watch a show and then fall asleep if I don't I will think and stay awake all night.
We sold our family property a massive farm of 1000's of acres of land, our farm house where I grew up, all the machinery I used to drive, mived far away and then he passed away riding his bicycle to the hospital in the middle of a heart attack. My dad was so funny of course that is the way he would go. I loved him so much.

I was at a funeral the other day a 24 year old girl actually one of my face painters that I was teaching I stood in the back and cried the whole time. Just makes you think of your loved ones tha tyou have lost and how they have loved ones as well that just lost them and its just all pain right at the bottom of the heart.
We just have to love everyone no matter what they have done, forgive and forget becuase one day we won't be around anymore, so live to the fullest, laught to the fullest, love to the fullest to everyone everywhere..be together as much as you can.
avatar
facetheart

Number of posts : 205
Age : 41
Location : Cambridge, Ontario, Canada
Registration date : 2011-03-28

http://www.facetheart.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by amylady222 on Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:48 pm

I still have a little PTSD--sounds like you do too Facetheart.

I can't read books with complicated plots or fall asleep on my own--my memory too a huge hit--crazy what the mind will do to "protect" itself from grief
avatar
amylady222

Number of posts : 1176
Age : 37
Location : San Luis Valley, Colorado
Registration date : 2012-08-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Appren on Thu Oct 04, 2012 10:54 pm

Hi, I know you all don't know me from a bar of soap, but just wanted to send strength. I know how hard it is after a death that's a huge shock...and also when they all come at once and how every other loss is a reminder of your own. I lost my dad and my partners dad (cancer) then my partner to suicide (our son was 5 months old then) and then my mum (natural causes) - that was all in 11 months in 07. The next year my counselor suddenly and then a year ago, the only person I'd let get close to me again passed at age 21. It's why I'm trying to get back into painting. I tried fast paced work until I lost a lot of weight and was so drained I couldn't anymore, then I tried Uni study and even though I was passing my concentration levels were zip, it was too exhausting - anything not to think anymore. I'm now terrified that I've just spent a fortune on a new kit and I won't be able to do it from nerves. Anyways, just wanted to send some love your way and hope you feel better soon and your pain eases. It can be tough, I know.
avatar
Appren

Number of posts : 32
Registration date : 2012-09-08

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by facetheart on Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:00 am

wow Appren thanks for the love to everyone when you need alot yourself. how sweet and selfless are you god bless. Art is what keeps me sane. Not just face painting I paint canvasses as well and that is what I have all my life been a sketcher, painter, sulptor. This allows me to release in my art.

Anyway you should be proud of yourself you must be an extremly strong person to have gone through all of that. love back to you and a big hug.
avatar
facetheart

Number of posts : 205
Age : 41
Location : Cambridge, Ontario, Canada
Registration date : 2011-03-28

http://www.facetheart.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by AvidLebon on Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:07 am

I'm so sorry to hear about this.

If there's anything good that comes from all of the looming sadness... I think that funerals are sometimes the thing that makes us realize how fragile and precious our lives are, and that we aren't going to be around forever. While those people are gone, there are still those around us that we need to love while there is still time. I think... I've got a few phone calls I need to make tomorrow.
avatar
AvidLebon

Number of posts : 38
Age : 34
Location : Chicago
Registration date : 2012-09-16

http://avidlebon.deviantart.com/gallery/

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by amylady222 on Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:12 am

Appren--wow! you have had a life of sorrow! You have had to deal with sudden, unexpected and long and expected deaths. I have yet to deal with a long term death, and with a sickly mother I am not sure if she got a sickness she would be taken quickly.

I love the saying "Be kinder than nessasary, because everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." It is so true!

I am sending strength to YOU! I find an creative outlet is helpful to me.

I am here for you if you need anyone to talk with.
avatar
amylady222

Number of posts : 1176
Age : 37
Location : San Luis Valley, Colorado
Registration date : 2012-08-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Appren on Fri Oct 05, 2012 2:46 am

Thanks Facetheart and Amy, and ditto if ever you need a shoulder - mine are pretty strong. Avid, wise words and very true, love those still here and make the most of that time. I agree on the creative outlet, I'm not too bad as long as I'm painting, you guys are truly an inspiration and that helps. I have loved reading the forum and my heart ached for you when I read your stories. But just mainly wanted to say I hope things do get easier and you find those moments of peace. And Amy, thank you for sharing, because little did you know, when I read this thread the first time, I was having the worst day - they don't come so often anymore luckily, but still have them from time to time....and knowing others are going through it helps.
avatar
Appren

Number of posts : 32
Registration date : 2012-09-08

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by TinafromNY on Fri Oct 05, 2012 9:51 am

Amy, I'm very sorry to hear this and you're right, time really helps heal us. You'll feel better soon and it was a good thing you posted, this really is a supportive community and we all have lives, both happy and sad, outside of face painting. The memories and anxiety ,that going to a funeral brings back, is temporary. Sending hugs :-)

Appren, I'm also sorry for all the tragedies you had to go through. I had a brother (when I was 19), a grandmother and an ex-husband (5 yrs ago) who also committed suicide. I know what a shock it is and how it makes you feel and I think that sort of tragedy causes a lot of PTS and depression, with the lack of concentration etc.. Try not to close yourself off to other people, it can really help to talk and share...possibly look in your paper for a "grief" type group. Although it might seem like it would make things worse by always talking about it, I think it makes things better to talk with people who have actually been through things similar. Always remain hopeful for the future...the wonderful thing about life is that there is always the possibility of wonderful new things for you, right around the corner, even when it doesn't feel like that's ever possible again. Enjoy your painting as a reprieve from thinking about your problems, don't get nervous about it, nothing to be nervous about so don't doubt what you're capable of. xoxo Tina
avatar
TinafromNY

Number of posts : 993
Age : 66
Location : Hudson Valley, NY
Registration date : 2012-07-05

http://www.facefanaticfacepainting.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Appren on Fri Oct 05, 2012 11:02 am

Thank you, Tina, and I am so very sorry about your losses too...especially your brother while you were so young. I have 4 kids (3 to a previous marriage and my youngest to my partner that passed) and I saw what it did to them....and because of that, even at my lowest, I would never make the same choice. I apologize if that's how it may have sounded.

I'm actually doing well now apart from the odd bad day - (that said, my tiger is looking a wee bit depressed lol) I still see a counselor (who was a colleague and friend of my counselor that passed, which was a blessing). And a I have a close-knit bunch of friends for support. I think mainly I just wanted to share to let Amy know she wasn't alone in that feeling, but I do thank you for your sincerity and advice, it means a great deal xx

Painting, music, lots of humour and friends are usually the best way to jump back up again. And as for the painting as a job, I'm going to swallow my nerves and just jump back in...I have to, I've spent a fortune :s

Amy, I hope you are feeling better, thinking of you.
avatar
Appren

Number of posts : 32
Registration date : 2012-09-08

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by amylady222 on Fri Oct 05, 2012 12:59 pm

I am doing well--I am a type of person who tries not to live in the sorrow or pain--my mom wallows in hurt and I grew up with her living in pain constantly so when I grew up I knew that was NOT how I wanted to be or how I wanted to live.

She tells me I don't live in reality because I am able to live happy, but I think it is the opposite--life is too dear to relive pain daily or hourly.

Appren---start small and low stress and build from there--I love your tiger even if it does look a little sad Wink You have amazing strength and I am jealous of the close knit friends you have--those can make a hugh difference!

To everyone on this thread---Lots of Prayers and positive energy to everyone!
avatar
amylady222

Number of posts : 1176
Age : 37
Location : San Luis Valley, Colorado
Registration date : 2012-08-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Appren on Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:19 pm

Amy, that's how I've had to learn to be too. You sound like you have a very positive outlook and that's a great thing to have. I just get back up the next day - new day - and put one foot in front of the other, it soon passes. The nerves, I'm learning to live with. As for the friendship, that was a genuine offer on my part...if ever you need to chat on the days where it's harder than normal, you are more than welcome to pm me. I'm a good listener and understand that there are days where you feel awful, but you just want to know someone is there, that can empathize but still treats you normally.

I feel like I've highjacked your thread, and I'm really sorry for that, so I'm off to paint some more ladybugs and leaving you best wishes and hugs sent over a glittery rainbow with some 'interesting' looking clouds - I really have to work on those! Smile

Take care xx
avatar
Appren

Number of posts : 32
Registration date : 2012-09-08

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by TinafromNY on Fri Oct 05, 2012 1:23 pm

Good for you Amy, for your attitude. My mother was the same way as yours and I refuse to be like her in that way. My own daughter, who has a wonderful life otherwise, was very traumatized by her father's suicide (and still misses him horribly) - he shot himself in the head and she found him - she was alone in the house at the time, with a toddler and also pregnant again no less. She handled everything herself, at only 26, with no help from my ex's family Yet, my ex-husband's family accused her months later, after the funeral, of "not caring enough", because she had a birthday party for her toddler, so they refused to come visit ever since (5 yrs. ago). But my daughter knew that her father had a problem and woudn't have wanted her to stop her life over what he did. Doesn't mean a person doesn't care, only means we cannot stop what another person does and we still have a life, owing it to the rest of our family to move on from tragedy. My own mother wasted her entire life in grief and refused all help. Good for YOU, it's a healthy attitude!
avatar
TinafromNY

Number of posts : 993
Age : 66
Location : Hudson Valley, NY
Registration date : 2012-07-05

http://www.facefanaticfacepainting.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by mamakatrien on Sat Oct 27, 2012 6:02 pm

Tina and Amy, i know so well what you mean. I also decided very early on I wanted to be different, live different.
And I think it worked. Just how different has recently hit me as my grandmother passed away last wednesday. It is the first funeral that I have arranged, and the second time I had to write a text for the deceased...
Makes you think about what is important in life.
avatar
mamakatrien

Number of posts : 486
Age : 45
Location : Belgium
Registration date : 2011-10-21

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by amylady222 on Sun Oct 28, 2012 1:36 am

Mamakatrien---sending prayers and energy your way--life does look different when you have experienced something like that


Also reading a clown page--you register your clown face on an egg and when you die they smash the egg---I think I would like to be buried with it instead.
avatar
amylady222

Number of posts : 1176
Age : 37
Location : San Luis Valley, Colorado
Registration date : 2012-08-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by amylady222 on Mon Feb 04, 2013 9:17 am

seriously I am not sure what it going on in my little community! Since I started this thread we have had about 10 deaths---we live in a small town so that is tons for us.
avatar
amylady222

Number of posts : 1176
Age : 37
Location : San Luis Valley, Colorado
Registration date : 2012-08-04

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Daphne on Mon Feb 04, 2013 9:29 am

I only can give you a big digi-hug !!
avatar
Daphne

Number of posts : 180
Age : 35
Location : the netherlands
Registration date : 2011-04-28

Back to top Go down

Re: Funerals--just my thoughts

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum