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What would you do?

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What would you do?

Post by PaolaSunglow on Wed Jul 23, 2014 5:29 pm

I am a bit uncomfortable to write this story, and if it sounds silly i apologies. On the other hand you are the only ones that would really understand me!! My hope is to find help, either in what to do or give it a closure.

During my daughter’s 10th birthday pool party few weeks ago,  one of her friend had my USB in her hands. I realized that could have been mistaken for a toy as it is a penguin. So i took it off her hands and explained it contained all my best face painting pictures and place it out of site, in an opposite box which was not visible to anybody else. I turned around and saw another girl looking at me. We three where the only ones knowing it's location.
As i said it was not visible, and left.
Last week i needed it to print pictures and looked for it in the old shelf. Could not remember what had happened to it until the next morning. While half sleep i usually get a better vision, and finally remembered the whole episode.
I checked in the box, behind and on the floor...Nothing!!
I called and met the mother of the first girl and explained what had happened, i brought with me a picture taken from internet just in case. i said to the mother i was not sure they took it to play, but it had disappeared.
She was picking up her daughter, so she asked her, but the daughter denied even having seen it!!!!! All she could said was "i can't remember". She could not even look me in the face!
Her mother said maybe she will remember later, and asked her : "DID YOU SEE ANYBODY ELSE TAKING IT!!!!" OMG!! I felt lost!
I can't ask the other girl, because various things had disappeared in the past when she visited our house,(she would never tell me the true), and we had problems at school with her bulling my daughter. They were material things in the past, so we let it go for the sake of pace keeping! This time they are my face painting Pictures!!! If the girl feels threatened and chuck it out and someone finds it....OMG i have about 200 pictures in it!! Face of kids who are not mine, myself, my kid!!!
Please i am going crazy!! help me out!! What would you do????
 pale
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Re: What would you do?

Post by anniel on Wed Jul 23, 2014 7:02 pm

I had a friend of my daughter's (teenager) that every time the kid came over, I lost something VERY valuable (a diamond necklace my son gave me, my camera, etc.).

He was doing community service through our non-profit to boot.

Rather than nail him on it, I asked him--I was pretty darn sure--but not positive. Of course he "knew nothing".

Never got anything back (didn't really expect to). But I cut contact with the family, and he had to do his "community service" elsewhere.

His mom called and whined at one point on how unfair I was--but you know, nothing else ever disappeared...

(If you are concerned about liability, which I don't know if it's an issue or not--you could place an ad in the "lost & found" section of the community newspaper, which is usually free.)

In fact, you could do that, and then point it out to the moms non-chanlantly--that it was so personally valuable to you, you even put it in the paper in case you'd "dropped it somewhere". (And give a way to "save face" & maybe return it?)
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Re: What would you do?

Post by Guest on Wed Jul 23, 2014 8:20 pm

First rule of media storage... ALWAYS HAVE A BACK-UP!!!!

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Re: What would you do?

Post by amylady222 on Wed Jul 23, 2014 11:00 pm

oh man!

I have no idea what I would do---what I would WANT to do is drive straight to their house and demand it back and if they refused go to the kids room and ransack it till I found it!

I would talk to the mom again and ask her to really keep an eye out for it --let her know that it is important and what it looks like exactly--MAYBE the mom has a conscience?

Also make sure THEY never go into your home again--if she is a bully why is she coming over?

I am sorry I am no help!
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Re: What would you do?

Post by eviedejesus on Wed Jul 23, 2014 11:49 pm

tell the girls you are offering $5. to anyone that can find it for you. At that age, it might just work.
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Re: What would you do?

Post by eviedejesus on Wed Jul 23, 2014 11:53 pm

the “other” girl would not have been invited, I wouldn’t worry about insulting her or her mom either by NOT inviting her because eventually she has to learn that she will lose ALL her friends if she continues doing what she is doing.

So sorry that you have lost those pics. Hope you get them back.
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Re: What would you do?

Post by PaolaSunglow on Thu Jul 24, 2014 9:48 am

Thank you so much to all of you for your words.
I really appreciate it.

Amylady, that is exactly how i felt. Because of my anger and upset, i was not able to think straight and offer a reward while talking to the girl.
I feel if i offer a reward now, after she declared to her mother and me "not to remember", it would be admitting her guilt.
I also thought to add to my thank you note (which i have not had time to prepare) a picture of my USB and offer reward that way.
I don't know if this is going to help either because by her stepping forward, it would be another admission of guilt.
Would she do it?
What do you ladies think?

Thank you
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Re: What would you do?

Post by fesspenter on Thu Jul 24, 2014 11:36 am

As a mum....
I need to know if my child is stealing.
This is a lesson I my child needs to learn, about respect for other people's possessions.

I like the idea of the reward/picture of your USB.
I don't now how other families handle this, so I cannot vouch for the behaviour of the child, and the mother.

I hope you get your penguin back.
xoxox
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Re: What would you do?

Post by thouartbeautiful on Thu Jul 24, 2014 12:46 pm

When I was a kid, a girl stole my school binder. It was a neat binder, had tons of pockets, and a pencil pouch with a lot of wonderful art supplies.

I had some pictures in it from my summer trip, amazing ones of waterfalls and the ocean, and one of me feeding 9 does and fawns from my bare hands. Never got them back, still am sad about it (22 years later!) and I was still friends with her in the long run, but never trusting of my stuff and she was no longer invited over again.

If this situation was mine, I would put fliers around for a 5 or 10 dollar reward, some close in range to the girls invited to the party (hoping they're not too far from your house). Say it was misplaced after a party. If the kid is smart, she'll send someone else to return it and claim the prize. You might even be able to con the kid returning it to give up the other's name for an additional reward (I'm running with it Wink wishful thinking). Other than that, best to forget about it and chalk it up to a learned lesson.
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Re: What would you do?

Post by PaintedWingsandWishes on Fri Jul 25, 2014 5:26 am

If the reward doesn't work, why not let it slip that you might notify the police if the reward doesn't work. If reward doesn't work maybe a scare tactic will?
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Re: What would you do?

Post by eviedejesus on Fri Jul 25, 2014 11:26 am

Do you have copies of these photos on your computer? drop box or cloud? if you do, I wouldn’t worry because I doubt who ever has it will do anything with it.
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Re: What would you do?

Post by TinafromNY on Fri Jul 25, 2014 12:05 pm

I wouldn't panic about the liability. It's such a specific thing, I doubt anyone will ever do anything with the pics except erase them in order to use the Penguin themselves. That said, I doubt you'll ever see it again unfortunately, but I DO like the idea of a reward...this might work if the kid is young enough (as they are naive). They might make up a big story of how they "found it". Make the reward bigger and more tempting than $5....worth it if you get it back. Then NEVER have the girl over again. Bullies will usually do other things they shouldn't also. Also, I like the idea of saying you'll notify the police and that you hope it "magically appears" in your house again BEFORE you have to do that. Good luck!
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Re: What would you do?

Post by PaolaSunglow on Fri Jul 25, 2014 1:17 pm

Thank you so much for all your thoughts and suggestions. Andrea i cannot even begin to imagine how could you have lived that betrayal for 22 years, and Tina your doubts on anyone ever using it gave me peace, thank you. I feel that was my most painful feeling, "guilt" for having taken pictures and not knowing what will happen to them.
I prepared a Flyer to be added in the thank you notes and will be just praying from now on.
It was too late to suggest police intervention.
I offered $10 or a replacement of a complete new penguin.
Love you all!! thank you for helping me feel i am not crazy. I love you
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Re: What would you do?

Post by Sneezle on Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:27 am

Very sorry for you losing your USB stick. Really not fair. So many good ideas already shared with you. Hope you'll get it back soon. xxx
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Re: What would you do?

Post by leapinglizards on Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:39 am

I would send a note to EVERYONE at the party, and explain that you had a plastic penguin USB, that looked like a toy and you THINK one of the kids might have been playing with it because it was moved and then was missing.  Ask all the parents to check with their kids and see if anyone might have taken it by home by accident.

In terms of liability-  I doubt you can be held liable for something being stolen out of your home in a container that was out of site.

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