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a complicated life

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a complicated life

Post by creativefunfaces on Sun Sep 28, 2014 11:20 am

Hey everyone, I have been on this forum for a few years now, and have found comfort, laughter, and learned so much. This forum, to me, is much more than a face painting forum. It is friends, support, caring, joy, and so much more. I find even on my toughest days I find my self here.
My daughter was hospitalized in 2012 with a Psychosis and self harm. That was the year after I first started face painting, so things were very slow around that time. She was hopitalized for a month, and when she came home she was like a different child. I also have a younger son who is on the autism spectrum, and has had a hard time understanding why his sister is so different. Here we are now in 2014, and things are getting scary again. Every year around the onset of school, she becomes depressed so severely that it triggers her Psychosis. Her diagnosis is now Paranoid Schizophrenia, and Major Anxiety Disorder. Her life is such a struggle, and I am scared for the day that I will no longer be here to help her. She will need help for the rest of her life. She has started hallucinating again, and things have just got bazaar. I have been to support meetings, but all of the other people with this illness are adults. It is so uncommon for a child at the age of 13 to have this illness. It doesnt usually accrue until late teens or early thirties. As complacated as things have been though, I find that I can always turn here, and it some how makes me feel alittle more normal. I can't work because of these problems, so face painting has become my main thing. Its like I can sit down a paint the stress away.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by thouartbeautiful on Sun Sep 28, 2014 12:43 pm

That sounds like such a struggle, raising children never isn't as straight forward as it is for some it seems, it's difficult because we want our children to be happy and healthy, but to get there is far more internal than it is external.

School doesn't seem to help our picture either, instead it perpetuates the problems; peers are cruel, teachers are aloof and absent, and when life poses situations that are hard to cope, children are still children with limited experiences to know how to overcome such obstacles, add in a number of heath issues and it's even more problematic.

I'm glad you find comfort here, I have no advice too offer you but I can relate (a small bit) and can tell your doing all you can in your power and you love her a great deal. Stay strong, I hope you find the hope and help you're looking for. <3
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Re: a complicated life

Post by anniel on Sun Sep 28, 2014 1:25 pm

I am so sorry you are experiencing all this, and especially that your daughter is. I will be praying for you.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by LittleMonsters on Sun Sep 28, 2014 2:28 pm

*hugs*

Being a parent is a tough job... and it's even harder when you're having to deal with extraordinary circumstances. Hang in there.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by leapinglizards on Sun Sep 28, 2014 3:37 pm

Dear Amy,

My ex husband was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic shortly before we were married- and, it was the kind of difficult that no one else can understand unless they have lived with and loved someone with a mental illness. I know how very hard it is. And it is a different kind of hard with your own child.

PLEASE take this advice.... DO NOT let your own support group get away from you or become alienated, and remember that as much as she needs you and you want to help her be well, you CANNOT help her if you are not taking care of you are your needs at the same time.

Many hugs, and come here for any support you need any time!


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Re: a complicated life

Post by amylady222 on Sun Sep 28, 2014 6:56 pm

Thank you for sharing your difficulties.

You are a strong woman to go through this!

I have no advice and only hugs, prayers, and good energy to share with you!


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Re: a complicated life

Post by jlirie on Sun Sep 28, 2014 9:53 pm

creativefunfaces, i'm sorry to hear about your daughter, and how scary it can be worrying about her. i have a friend who's one daughter began to have difficulties with anxiety, depression and some psychosis a few years ago in her late teens. compounded by alcohol & drug use. she's a sweet kid, but it's been a long road, up & down, and no simple fixes.

i am glad you are able to do face painting since you can't work. i agree with leapinglizards, be sure to take care of yourself, too.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by Miss Ronnie on Mon Sep 29, 2014 12:11 pm

Dear Amy,

Sometimes it's so unfair that we are given difficult and strenuous affairs to deal with on a daily basis, while others seem to breeze through life every single day with an abundance of good fortune. I used to think that I was the most unlucky girl in the world and that God must be punishing me. But, now that I'm older and (hopefully) wiser, I can attest that all those trials and tribulations molded and shaped me.

I realize that sounds so trivial when you are in the middle of the complications and pain that seem to have taken over your every waking moment right now. Actually, it IS a trivial detail for you at the moment. It doesn't help you handle it any better and it seems like such a cliche thing to say. But you and your family take tiny little steps every single day in your journey through life - and yet each tiny step makes a difference, makes you stronger, makes you wiser, makes you more exhausted, makes you feel exhilarated. Hold on tight to all those who truly love you and care about you. They are your life ropes.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by fesspenter on Mon Sep 29, 2014 5:13 pm

Thinking of you.

xoxox
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Re: a complicated life

Post by creativefunfaces on Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:45 pm

Thank you all =) !!
My daughter had an awesome day today! She came home happy from tutoring, and has just been happy all day. I hope we have more days like today. She is in her room right now singing "the eye of the tiger". If only everyday could be like today.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by leapinglizards on Tue Sep 30, 2014 9:03 pm

HOORAY! Smile

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Re: a complicated life

Post by jlirie on Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:09 am

that sounds wonderful, may you have many more days like that
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Re: a complicated life

Post by Kal on Tue Oct 07, 2014 4:47 pm

Sending good thoughts your way creativefunfaces.
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Re: a complicated life

Post by veelux on Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:03 pm

Wishing you all the best. Its good that you can "paint the stress away". Its a great outlet.
Peace and Love
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Re: a complicated life

Post by l!zzie on Fri Oct 10, 2014 2:23 am

Sending all love and good thoughts!!

When your child is happy, you are happy. When your child is unhappy and beyond that, there's no word to describe that feeling, it's torture.

Cherish the happy days, hours, minutes!
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