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Choices, choices...

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Choices, choices...

Post by rthling on Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:36 pm

Life comes at you fast.
Back in mid July, I started working full time. I've been a stay at home mom for sixteen years, for the most part, so this has been an adjustment for the entire family.

The biggest challenge is taking care of the home. Laundry needs done, my family needs to eat. Just when do you grocery shop, when you work full time, plus run a weekend business??

My bathroom is a mess. Shoot, my whole house is a mess. The kids and hubster help out, and all pitch in, but it never seems like the place really gets clean and the laundry is a losing battle.

And in the middle of all this, I am still trying to juggle Fancy Faces by Diane.

I have been booked every weekend, with the exception of two, since I started my job. I actually booked family time on those weekends, and turned down paying gigs on those days.

I've thought very seriously about hanging up the ole apron, if you know what I mean. But my husband, who has been very supportive throughout this whole adventure, doesn't think I should let it go entirely. He knows how much I love it. But my worry is that I will lose the ability to paint, if I don't paint often enough.

I have one more big gig this year, aside from multiple birthday parties booked for October. I don't have anything on the calendar, past Halloween.

Right now, it's just a "wait and see" situation.

Anyone else juggling face painting and other jobs?
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by fesspenter on Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:17 pm

Dear rthling:
I, too, have been juggling the whole trying to keep our home um, not disgusting. I was a stay at home mom, and our home was warm and welcoming. Now, I can name some of the dust bunnies, they are THAT big.

I returned home from FPU:NE to a well-organized, and DIRTY home. I am very happy that my family picked up. This is a step in the right direction! It makes it easier for me to clean.

Our plan is to get a cleaning service in every two weeks to help, once I get back from Fantasy Fest in the Florida Keys.

I cannot do it all.
Well, maybe I can...
I just cannot do it on time.
Stuff is falling off my plate all the time.
I am trying to keep the important stuff on track.

I am off to christen the largest dust bunny "Chuckie". I know it will take longer to drink champagne to a dust bunny name, than it would take to actually clean it up. Champagne is more fun than a dustbuster.

xoxoxo
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by jlirie on Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:04 am

i'd cut back on the day job before giving up the face painting.

i've had to juggle the "can't do it all" due to other reasons. a few short cuts i developed -

cleaning - do little bits each day, give up big once a week cleaning, only clean when it really is dirty, containers for everything, put things where they belong so i don't have to straighten up later.

shopping - stock up on everything, buy multiples every time i shop, buy as much ready to eat or easy to fix food as possible (sandwich fixings, yogurt, cottage cheese, fruit, raw veggies, frozen veggie mixes, nuts, bread, cereal, sauces, cheap frozen dinners, cheap instant meals, etc).

errands - combine errands in one trip, go to stores or malls where you can get multiple things done (food, household, pharmacy, clothes, gas, etc).

time management - do what i like first, clean and shop some other time Very Happy. (this results in frequent trips to fast food drive through windows, lol)
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by rthling on Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:23 am

Fessy, thank you for making me feel like I'm not alone. My dust bunnies chase my Yorkies around. It's pretty comical. It's the bathroom floor that scares me, at the moment.
Jlirie, I can't cut back on the day job. Since I don't have that option, I just put on my big girl panties and do what I gotta do.
But when I come home, I mostly want to put on my jammies and crawl into bed. It's getting better. My butt doesn't hurt anymore, from sitting at a desk all day. And I have been coming home and cooking dinner. But cleaning up, after dinner falls on my kids. They are teens, and have been well trained, but they are still just teens, and do a teen version on clean, which doesn't always match my version.
Every day, the walls get a little closer, because they can clean up the middle of the room, but the edges are still a mess.
I know it'll get better. Thanks for being there while I whine.

Which isn't the same thing as wine, let me tell ya.
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rthling

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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by fesspenter on Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:11 am

Two years ago, I came home from 16 days away in the Floriday Keys at Fantasy Fest. Before I left, i scoured, cleaned, cooked and froze meals, organized our home.

I walked in the door... and there was a dirty sock right in the middle of the hallway. The living room had dirty plates with crusty food and dirty clothing. I turned around and left. About half an hour later, my husband called me and asked if that was me who came in, and where was i? I told him I was checking into a hotel. What little I saw of our house was unwelcoming. I told him I would come home when the house was clean. He called me at 10pm and told me that the house was clean. I told him I had a facial mask on, and I was reading in bed. I would come home in the morning. I came home to a home that was almost as I left it for my family.
I had several conversations with my husband regarding the responsibility of cleaning our home, when I was working full time during the week, and weekends face painting. (My job begins anytime from 5am and my outside work day ends around 3pm). My family was perceiving that I worked a short day, since they saw me getting home shortly after they arrived home from school.) I refused to hire a cleaning service just to clean up after THEM. I told my family that we would get a cleaning service once they were picking up after themselves. My house then got worse. I finally told my husband that he should not be having sex with the cleaning woman, as that is all I had become. Tim rallied the troops quickly and backed me up on cleaning routines. We removed phones and computer privileges until our children began pitching in. It was not pleasant in the beginning. We still hit big bumps. When I do a long festival, my family rebells, and we all fall back into dust bunny world for a while. I have more of a sense of humour about all this stuff than i used to.

I am going to name the next dust bunny bigger than my head, "Doug". I have been naming them alphabetically, just like they name tropical hurricanes.

xoxox
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by leapinglizards on Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:03 am

Ok.... True story- Years ago, I was looking for a cleaning service. A friend said he used one, was licensed and bonded and all that so I called- got a price and decided to try them out. It was called something like "Cleaning yer way through college" or something like that....

So.... cleaning day, knock at door. Two big buff male college football players arrive. Ok, nice eye candy- ask me what needs cleaning etc etc, how I like things done. I show them, ask them not to clean a few things that were fragile.

I am going to my office to work on stuff and get out of their way and the one guy says... "Uh, so how do you want us?"

I look at them, blink, 100% clueless. "what do you mean?" and he says... "Well, do you prefer Boxers? Briefs? Nude?"

IT WAS A CLOTHING OPTIONAL cleaning service that my friend neglected to mention!

I opted they stay dressed and just clean, and I went to my office thoroughly red faced.

So..... if the hubby won't chip in on cleaning, tell him this story and that you are looking for this cleaning service in your town.

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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by fesspenter on Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:08 am

Bwahahahaha!

Um, Mr. Leaping...
would they cover themselves in Kettle Corn?

xoxo
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by jlirie on Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:30 am

rthling, i kinda suspected you probably couldn't cut back on the f-t job, based on what you wrote. wishful thinking, eh? it's frustrating to go along with things not done or half done :/

fesspenter, lol on the motel, and naming dust bunnies after hurricanes!
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by rthling on Wed Oct 01, 2014 7:34 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! This thread just got interesting!

Seriously, tho. I'd try that "no sex with the cleaning lady" bit, if I didn't like it so much, too...

Hehe!
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rthling

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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by LittleMonsters on Wed Oct 01, 2014 10:36 pm

Oh my goodness... sorry ladies! I know you're talking about hard times but I can't help but laugh at the humorous stories being thrown around here now!! ^_^
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by eviedejesus on Thu Oct 02, 2014 12:53 pm

I had to finally accept that my house can not be perfect all of the time. My husband and daughter don’t care about it being perfect, I was the one putting all the pressure on myself. I have learned to loosen up and just let it be. I’ll get to it when I get to it, and if I don’t - BFD. I try and keep the front room clean in case someone stops by but my upstairs is pretty much a mess. If anyone doesn’t like it, they are free to do it for me. 

Do NOT stop painting. Not because you will lose skill if you do but because this is YOUR thing. You love doing it and just like you wouldn’t think of giving up sex, why give up painting? Ask for help - deligate more - but never give up what is important to you for a clean house.
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by Affordable Face Magic on Thu Oct 02, 2014 3:15 pm

Just had to comment, as I approach my 67th Bday & am leaving for my 50th High School reunion this weekend…(that's to give you a little perspective of where I'm coming from). I was involved in "The Women's Movement", consciousness raising groups and taught an assertiveness training course in the early 70's and one remark has stood out after all these years: "Does it ever get to you that you're folding the same towels this week that you folded last week and you'll fold again next week?" We absolutely can't do it all WELL, but we sure can prioritize, be good to ourselves and each other, value our Family & our women friends and give ourselves a break! Diane, I've noticed a few things about you over the last few years. You have common sense, a great sense of humor and a strong backbone. If you want to keep painting because it gives you joy (and $) then you'll find a way to keep doing it. My Mum was the only working mother when I grew up. I swore I'd only work part-time, but had to go to full-time when the kids were 5 & 8. At first I struggled…a lot! People may laugh, but feeling overwhelmed by the house/meals/laundry/lunches etc can be really tough. After a while, I realized that as I came through the door, my kids would cringe, 'cause I was the only one upset by toys & clutter all over the floor. My husband was going to be the happy parent & I was going to be the …*#^*#! That's when Walter & I talked and we hired a friend, working her way thru art school to clean every two weeks. (& YES, I pick up so the housekeeper can clean to this day!) It was, and still is, a godsend for me & my family. As my girls got older, one was neat, one not so much. I closed the door to her room, finally. Now, we live with her and her family. All I can say is, thank God for a housekeeper. BTW, when I retired, I let mine go, but the home we all share now is too big for me, so "SHE'S BACK!" Whatever your solution, and I know you'll work it out & do what you have to do, take a hint from Fessie & keep that sense of humor.
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by rthling on Thu Oct 02, 2014 9:22 pm

Aw, thanks, Pat!
What a kind thing to say!
I am seriously considering hiring a friend to clean my bathrooms once every other week. They are the rooms that stress me the most.
I paid my daughter to clean my bathroom, but it's not exactly what I was hoping for. I'm thankful for what she did, though.
This weekend won't be at all restful or productive, as far as laundry or cleaning goes.
I've got back to back gigs on Saturday, and a party after church on Sunday.
But I'll assign chores to the kids and the hubs will keep them on task and run a bit of laundry for me. I sure am thankful for their help.
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rthling

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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by Snickell on Fri Oct 03, 2014 3:07 am

If we had the money, I would GLADLY pay someone else to clean.

But not just any cleaning- I can pick up stuff, vaccum, clean toilets, mop, laundry, all that jazz.

Its the DISHES that I refuse to do.

My day job is working as a barista at Starbucks, and I usually close the store. This means that I get to wash aaaaaaall those dirty dishes. Sometimes I'll come home from 3+ hours of dish washing, still damp down the front and fingers all pruney, only to open our trailer door and see a big ol' pile dishes waiting in the sink. You think I want to clean THAT then?! Hahah. Not happening.

I have flat out refused to wash our dishes, just let my husband keep piling them up, until he finally got annoyed enough by the smell that he ended up cleaning them. I still picked up, vaccumed, mopped, did laundry (didn't make dinner, still working on that whole 'cooking' thing) but I would not touch those dishes. He has since learned.
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by anniel on Fri Oct 03, 2014 10:42 am

I cleaned my paint case and the bathrooms. I feel I accomplished a lot.
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by jlirie on Fri Oct 03, 2014 11:29 am

snickell, that seems more than fair!
lol, anniel
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by Miss Ronnie on Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:55 pm

Dear Diane,

I've been to your home. It's comfortable. It's lived in. It's a family living together and I could feel the love and great relationship you guys have. I have no good advice because my house is worse than yours - Fessy can attest to that. But you have great family and adorable doggies and the dust bunnies always look better through rose-colored wine glasses.

And Pat, I've been to your house, too. Heck, I practically died in your guest room - lol (it sure felt like I was dying!) and you guys have a house full of love, too. I raise my glass of pumpkin wine to you.

Fessy, my dust bunnies are waiting for you to visit... I have gone through the whole alphabet four times naming mine and am on the fifth alphabet run now....letter K; Kevin the dust bunny is waiting anxiously to meet you. We'll have sangria slushies waiting for ya.
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Re: Choices, choices...

Post by fesspenter on Wed Oct 08, 2014 12:31 am

Wait...
what will your "L" bunny's name be?

Sangria Slushies are so fancy.
You have to drink them with your pinky up.
I prefer Floor Wine.

xoxox
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Re: Choices, choices...

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