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draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

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draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by CreativeFacesBerkshire on Sun Feb 01, 2015 3:19 am

hello , I desperately need help , I have drafted a letter to be sent to local schools and events to advertise myself and tell them that I am interested in attending their events throughout the year, please let me know what you think , is it ok , too formal? needs something else? thanks xxx

Dear Sir or Madame,

I am writing to you today to express an interest in attending any fetes, fun days or events held at the school.
I am a newly established face painter with full public liability insurance and an enhanced CRB check ( this is not necessary for face painters to have.) I have 3 years of art and design training and a further 3 years childcare training. I only use skin safe products that are specifically produced for use on the skin and I have strict hygiene standards for all of my products.
I have included a copy of my disclaimer with this letter for your information.
I look forward to further discussing any questions or queries with you.

Kind regards

Georgina Elizabeth Freestone
Artist/Owner Creative Faces


Last edited by CreativeFacesBerkshire on Sun Feb 01, 2015 3:30 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : edited letter)
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CreativeFacesBerkshire

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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by Kal on Sun Feb 01, 2015 9:50 am

Get rid of the part about insurance not being necessary.

Attach a copy of your full contract rather than just your disclaimer.

Put your web link in there somewhere.
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Kal

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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by jlirie on Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:38 am

get right to the point, you don't want to attend, you want them to hire you to do face painting. your wording is a bit confusing.

and make it about what you can do for them, face painting will attract more people, resulting in more participation and business, their events will be memorable, kids will want to come back, etc.

good luck!
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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by amylady222 on Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:52 am

I agree with the above
Fete is a common word in the USA--super fun word!

In usa we put our name, address, phone number, & web address in the upper right corner--don't know the rules in other countries.


Dear Sir or Madame,

I am writing to you today to express an interest in attending being hired for any fetes, fun days or events held at the your school.
I am a newly established professional face painter with full public liability insurance and an enhanced CRB check ( this is not necessary for face painters to have.) I have 3 years of art and design training and a further 3 years childcare training.
I only use skin safe products that are specifically produced for use on the skin face-painting and I have strict hygiene standards for all of my products I use.
I have included a copy of my disclaimer and contract with this letter for your information.
I look forward to further discussing any questions or queries with you.

Kind regards

Georgina Elizabeth Freestone
Artist/Owner Creative Faces
Email
Web address>

(Also in USA we add)
Enclosed: Disclaimer, contract



Just my suggestions
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amylady222

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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by CreativeFacesBerkshire on Sun Feb 01, 2015 2:08 pm

Hi ladies, thanks for the input , in uk school fetes/ events you pay for a stand and go from there, so im not sure " hired" is the best wording , you are attending the event independently. also I have not included my website name as it has no photos on it as yet.
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CreativeFacesBerkshire

Number of posts : 11
Age : 26
Location : West Berkshire
Registration date : 2015-01-22

http://creativefacesberkshire.weebly.com

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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by CreativeFacesBerkshire on Sun Feb 01, 2015 2:22 pm

.....UPDATED.....{ any better?}


Dear Sir or Madame,

I am writing to you today to express an interest in attending any fetes, fun days or events held at your school.
I am a professional face painter with full public liability insurance and an enhanced CRB check I have 3 years of art and design training and a further 3 years childcare training. I only use skin safe products that are specifically produced for painting and I have strict hygiene standards for all of the products I use.
At other events I have seen that face painting tables are very popular and provide great entertainment for both children and adults, creating lots of happy memories.
I have included a copy of my disclaimer with this letter for your information.
I look forward to discussing any questions or queries with you.

Kind regards

Georgina Elizabeth Freestone
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CreativeFacesBerkshire

Number of posts : 11
Age : 26
Location : West Berkshire
Registration date : 2015-01-22

http://creativefacesberkshire.weebly.com

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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by SweetnArtsy on Sun Feb 01, 2015 3:10 pm

You forgot the word face in 'produced for face painting'
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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by jlirie on Sun Feb 01, 2015 5:15 pm

thanks for explaining about the way events are run, your new version looks good.
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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by amylady222 on Sun Feb 01, 2015 5:40 pm

looks great! Make sure you keep us up to date on what happens!
Smile
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Re: draft letter to advertise myself for events - critique please!

Post by CreativeFacesBerkshire on Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:39 am

thank you everyone, im going to keep a list of schools ive sent them too, hopefully ill get somewhere as this is the public's first sight of me ( as I said , very new company they have no idea I exist until now)
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CreativeFacesBerkshire

Number of posts : 11
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Registration date : 2015-01-22

http://creativefacesberkshire.weebly.com

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