How to take a shower

How To Shower Like a Woman

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
basket according to lights and darks.


Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.


If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.


Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.


Get in the shower.


Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.


Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.


Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.


Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa
cake body wash.


Rinse conditioner off hair.


Shave armpits and legs.


Turn off shower.


Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.


Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.


Get out of shower.


Dry with towel the size of a small country.


Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.


Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel
on head.


If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
areas.


How To Shower Like a Man


Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed
and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.


If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her
making the 'woo-woo' sound.


Look at your manly physique in the mirror.


Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.


Get in the shower.


Wash your face.


Wash your armpits.


Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse
them off.


Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.


Spend majority of time washing privates and
surrounding area.


Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on
the soap.


Wash your hair.


Make a Shampoo Mohawk..


Wee.


Rinse off and get out of shower.


Partially dry off.


Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of bath the whole time.


Admire willy size in mirror again.


Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and
fan on..


Return to bedroom with towel around waist.


If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her
and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.


Throw wet towel on bed.


I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

Yep, that's about it!

Oh!!! Gee! That sounded like work work work... and here I thought when one get in the Shower,,, The music came on and I could sing sing sing.... Can't carry a note, but I do sing... The land lord had my bathroom sound proofed.. Not as many of the neighbors moveing out now.
Great to be old.. have to take out the hearingades before entering the bath.

Rickiddie Rick... ah? what was that u say?

bump. I thought we could use a laugh with all the DFX drama!

Def! Love it Metina!

I personally find that the 'leaving clothes in a pile' part to not apply at our house.

This morning I found Hubby's suit coat lying across the pack-n-play, his tie on a dining room chair, his glasses were in the bathroom on the ledge next to the shower, his pants were on a different dining room chair, there was a single sock lying in the middle of the hallway, and his belt was on my bed (which was soooo super comfy to sit on let me just say...)

At this point I'd welcome a pile!

*giggle*

True, true, true... Especially the 'woo-hoo!!' part.

I was cracking up.


lol

willy shaking.

I was thinking I might shake up the routine and shake my ta~tas at him making a woo-woo sound....... but then I thought..... I might put an eye out.

HahahahahHAhahahahahah ahhhhhhhh...... too funny. Thanks for the giggles.
And I am sure my man thought he was the only one who "Woo-hoo"d for my enjoyment....... anybodies elses do it hands free?

lmao - I am laughing so much now I have to go wee.

I am laughing sooooo hard that I'm afraid I'm going to wake up my family!! Oh, thank you Metina for this! Can't wait to let my husband read this!

Oh, how funny!
Thanks for bumping, Metina! We could all use a laugh now and again.

I just read that to my son. He nodded and said "Pretty much."

lmao

I will say, my son leaves his clothes all over. I wish he put them in a pile. I found a sock next to the fridge yesterday and his jeans on the dining room table. I don't ask. lol

Tash, my hub does the "hands-free willy wiggle" too! Do you think when they teach "boy things" in middle school that's part of it? lol

Thank you, Metina. This was so enjoyable!

*snort* I am soooo glad I am home alone at the moment...I would have woken everyone up!!! Can't wait till hubster comes in the door to show him!! LMAO

roflmao!!!!! all i can see in my head is my hubby doing the hands free wiggle lol too funny! got any more????

thanks Metina, that just cracked me up!!!