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Ahhh, home

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Ahhh, home

Post by Geekophile on Sun Mar 27, 2011 4:51 pm

Well, I don't know if you'd noticed that I was gone, but anyway I'm back now. It seems like forever, but it's only been about 10 days. Still, can you imagine being away from this lovely forum for that long? After LaFete I felt pretty lousy. My confidence was totally shaken and I was ashamed for feeling that way. Also I was angry with myself for letting my social anxiety keep me from really making the most of the confrence and finding the friendships I had hoped for. Shoot! It took me months before I felt comfortable contributing to this forum-- and that's got a computer screen to hide behind! For those of you who were patient with me- thank you! It would have been a very lonley weekend without your kindness. So anyway, I've spent this entire last week berating myself for my failure. I felt a little better after my garden party yesterday, and I'm sure ordering some new paints will help too- but really, it's the salve of this forum that is bringing me out of my funk. Thank you for being my safe place.
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Geekophile

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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by wmeventservices on Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:22 pm

Oh Sophie, I'm so glad your back. I felt the exact same way at FABAIC last year. I'm not the most outgoing person and the only thing I had going for me was a pregnant belly that everyone wanted to paint. I didn't make any lasting connections and just floated through. I also felt like I was so overwhelmed that I didn't actually learn anything. Now that almost a year has gone by, I see that I really did learn a lot from it even though it might not have been the traditional way of learning. I didn't take a lot from the classes, but things I saw people paint and techniques I saw them use still pop up in my head today and give me inspiration. I am going again this year and vowed to try to be a little more outgoing, but we will see if that really happens when I;m standing in a room of hundreds of people I don't know. It's so intimidating, maybe you can help dust me off after I get back. Lol! I hope you never stop posting for something like that again. You are a talented artist who has a ton to offer to this forum and I think all of us would miss you if you ever left.
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by IamGinaW on Sun Mar 27, 2011 5:28 pm

Oh hon, don't be so hard on yourself. Social anxiety is a real problem and not an easy one to overcome. Think how well you did just going to a big conference! Some people are so handicapped by social anxiety that they wouldn't even go to a conference like that or even make it out of the house. Seriously, you DID put yourself out there. It was just a first step. Next time it should be easier too, because (hopefully) you had good experiences when you did get out there a little. Try not to look at it as a failure, but a step on the way to overcoming your anxiety.
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by squiggle on Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:04 pm

I wish I had met you there! I, too, am very shy when it comes to big groups like this. I can handle face painting because all my attention is focused on one person and I pretty much ignore the line behind me until the next person sits in my chair. I was only able to be at LaFete for one day (Fri) and met a few people (Angie, Ray, Linda, Annette...) and I came with MeLisa, who's never met a stranger and can talk to anyone (how I wish I could do that!). Maybe next year we can meet up Smile
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by Geekophile on Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:17 pm

Thank you both for the kind words and encouragement. I'm very glad that I went and at least tried to conquer that fear. Everyone really was nice- but I just have a hard time putting my(true)self out there. I'm sure I would have just melted into a puddle at a huge convention like Fabiac!
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Geekophile

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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by AudreyG on Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:22 pm

I so understand how you feel! I am not the most outoging talkative person either. I went to my first convention in January of this year and I met a few new people but I felt so lonely and out of place. =( I am going to FABAIC this year and I am so happy that I am going but sooo scared and nervous all at the same time! I know that all the "IN" people will know eachother and i will just be one of the many beginner face painters that no one talks too LOL But oh well I will be taking mental notes the whole time and I am sure that I will learn tons of new things! Glad you came back. =) This forum made me feel like I had a little family here too. Even though I don't post a whole lot!
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by Geekophile on Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:29 pm

My buddy Paul was with me for some of Thursday and Friday, and he is just like that too- can talk to anyone and they all love him. I admire that so much. I try to fake it sometimes- it works for a while. Like long enough for an interview or group meeting, but then I usually need to take a long meditative walk to get my nerves right again! (I went for a LOT of walks in NewOrleans) I agree that when you're painting it's different. I always pretend I'm someone else.
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Geekophile

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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by Psalmbook on Mon Mar 28, 2011 6:00 am

Welcome back!
I felt pretty down after FABAIC & it took me a while to process the whole experience. It did help me grow & made me appreciate the forum even more. Don't look back at your experience as a failure, but as a way to grow. You're an amazing artist & have a lot to offer! I really started to grow after I stopped comparing myself to others. You will too!
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by maggie on Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:07 am

Welcome home Sophie!
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by Jody Rife on Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:27 am

Glad you are back and good for you for stepping out and going to the conference. I get soooo nervous when going some place new. My stomach stays in a knot all day sometimes. I used to sing Christian music locally with a gal quite often. I was just fine as long as she was with me but now I find it hard to just get up in front of my church. But I still do it. We must keep pressing on and never let our anxiety win. Smile I just think it is so funny sometimes that I have been blessed with face painting when it makes me constantly be thrown into new situations. I'm convinced that our confidence will keep growing if we keep putting ourselves out there. Smile

You Rock Sophie, if you don't think so just remember those little faces that light up when they see your lovely work in the mirror!
cheers
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Re: Ahhh, home

Post by kat on Mon Mar 28, 2011 8:36 am

I'm sorry that it was so stressful for you.
Stress takes its toll on our body and mind.

I'm glad you're back! smile
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