So.. I shot myself with a staple gun. What did you do today?

I was born with two left feet. No, just kidding, but it seems I was! I'm the queen of clumsy. I always stumble on everything and my arms and legs are full of bruises. Even my GP gave me a leaflet and a long talk about abuses at home I had to explain him that my husband is a beautiful and nice person and I'm awkward myself. At this moment I have a beatiful burn on my left arm because yesterday I hit a hot pan with oil ... Arggggh, I hate hot oil!!

Snicker, these are too funny! Hey, we need a place to put our own Darwin awards. (quote) Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can. Yesterday, I forgot my ice water mug still had some left and reached up for something and poured the remainder down my own back. Once I blackened one eye when I leaned over the car door without looking. I blackened the other eye 3 days later by turning around and walking straight into a house door. My poor innocent hubby got a lot of nasty looks.

Justine, this made me laugh and laugh... not that it happened, just your upbeat attitude about it. I've stapled my own thumb before with a regular stapler, when I was a kid. It hurt.

I cut my thumb once while carving a pumpkin for Halloween, and I fainted dead away on the floor while trying to get to the paper towels. First time I've ever fainted in my life. My daughter was 3yrs and I awoke to her sprinkling me with juice from her sippy cup.

How's your thumb now? My day wasn't nearly as interesting as yours.

hahahaha love the image of your little one sprinkling you from her sippy cup

lol at the sippy cup!!!!
How cute

I have only fainted once and it was because I chose to give blood even though I had not eaten breakfast or dinner the night before. Also, video games are apparently much more fun than drinking water because I was also "dehydrated" and that morning's coffee didn't help.

I woke up with my legs up on a chair, my skirt doing NOTHING to keep me modest and a crowd of people around me.

Upon awakening I promptly realized that my bottom had been on display like some ugly painting at a gallery for the last 5 minutes. I hid my shame and vividly remembered that morning which underwear I chose to wear and hating myself for it.

oh oh oh, and as for this morning I had to evacuate where I am staying, girls in tow, because they had to spray for fleas.
If sharing is caring, my mom's pooch sure loves her!

I think your daughter giving you first aid is too cute. She reacted better then some adults.... me included.

OUCH!!! and funny!!!
My Darwin award came to me in 4th grade when we were learning about electricity. You know the one... little light bulbs, wires & batteries... Welll, there was this reeaaallly pretty little light bulb w/ all the squiggly thin wires in it(it was of course the ONE the teacher said NO ONE should take). Yup, I snuck that beautiful bulb out knowing it would make the BEST lightshow... and it did... It was flashbulb for a camera & it blew up in my hand burning my finger & thumb. The teacher asked if I was ok & I of course lied & said yes as I stuck my now blistered digits in my mouth

Yes my daughter's first aid was good THIS time. The other day we got a new digital set-top box but it was obviously faulty because when I plugged it in and touched it to adjust a cord it gave me a huge electric shock. I yelled out in pain and she jumped up with her bottle of water and tried to pour it on me to stop me from 'burning'. Between her and the offending electrical appliance I'm lucky to be alive.

I walked straight into one of the legs of my gazebo at the market today and simultaneously poked myself in the cheek with a paintbrush.

For those that dont know... the Darwin Awards are a tongue in cheek award honoring those who improve the species...by accidentally removing themselves from it!

Watch this space - I could be a serious contender!

My best story...

My oldest child has asperger, so she is totally litteral. Told her to go bring the groceries in from the car, it was a suburban, which also had two very large boxes inside. We had to replace one of the toilets, so they were sitting in the truck until the instaler was scheduled the next day.

Anyway, I am putting the groceies away, and I hear a huge crash outside. My daughter has dutifuly brought in the grocires, which, to her, includes the toilet! Silly me, even after hearing the crash of what is certainly porceline, I stick my hand inside a small hole on top to "see" if it was broken. It was! Sliced off part of my finger too.

The moral? If you have a toilet in your car...tell all high functioning autsitc people to only bring in the BAGS from the car...and...never use you hand to see, even if you should be smart enought to know what it is going to look like! One of my biggest "DUH" momoments.