I just want to cancel it all.

We are going through some real crap, I mean CRAP. I am so sick inside mentally and starting to feel the effects physically. Mainly from lack of sleep and crying so much. I won't go into details, I know we all have had our lifetime low and I unfortunately am at mine right now.

So when do horrible things usually happen? Sure,... when it is October and you have bookings and people calling wanting more and more appointments. Oh and my church rotates Sunday school teachers and guess who's month it is , you got it ,this girl. I'm sure I will be able to get someone to help me there though.

I have a party today. I can fake it till I make it for today. Tomorrow is church, then my little girl's party, ok one more day maybe I can fake it. But dear Lord I feel like I am dying inside and want to cancel everything for this month! I know I would regret it in the long run, or would I ? Who knows. I don't even care at this moment.

If you pray, please pray for me.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. When you are struggling so hard these are the times when you just have to say no and take time for yourself. Otherwise you'll wear yourself down to a nub.

If you don't want to take any jobs right now, just tell them all that sadly you were booked weeks in advance and this will only make them demand you more next year. Don't just tell them no.

As to church, explain what a horrible time you are going through and that this just isn't a good time for you to be working with children. Just say it woiuld be hard to keep the positive message of the Lord going during this diffucult time or something.

No knowing exactly what you are going through, I hope I helped a bit. I know when the going gets rough, it really is best to take care of yourself.

HUGS!

-Metina

Hugs!! I hope you feel better soon, and I agree - take some time for yourself!

Sending positive energy your way!

I'll be praying for you...the darkest hour really is just before dawn...know that tends to sound trite as the moment, but having hit quite a few deep dark moments over the years...

Be sure you're nourishing yourself physically as wells as spiritually..

The "Fear Not" album (http://www.nubeat.org/ABfnT.html) has always been a comfort to me in times of great trial. (It's one of those you can doze off on if you need to clear your mind...and just rest).

Aww Jody, I just want to hug you. I have no idea what is going on , but I know exactly how you feel. I have been there very recently and sadly I even went to the doctor to ask for medication to help. Just know that the Lord is with you, he loves you, as do so many. Sometimes it seems we are in hole so deep that we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can remember sitting here crying uncontrollably and saying " I just can't see the light" nomatter how I tried to work it out, I just couldn't see the solution. It worked out, as it seems to always do. Hope is still alive, and if you have to fake it or cancel it, either way it is ok. Just seek out some help from family, pastors , friends whoever until you are through this. I will be praying for you, for comfort and healing. If you need someone to just listen I am here Jody 513-508-0837 anytime day or night. Hang in there girl.

I don't pray, but I'm sending good vibes and the best wishes your way!! hope things will go better for you soon! I've been in a bad place too once, but it was solved by itself..or by just going on and suddenly deciding things for myself..anyhow..it worked..hang in there and take care of yourself!

Jody,
I know what you mean, hon. It seems like life throws it all at us at once, sometimes.
God isn't at all surprised at the timing of this, though. You may be surprised that the absolute busy-ness you are experiencing is His way of helping keep you occupied so you can cope with what you are going through.
We all have our moments of absolute brokenness, it's true, but this is your moment. It's okay to lean on others. There is a time for every purpose under heaven, even to mourn.
I'll be praying for you. For some reason, your plea has struck me deeply, and I am burdened for you. I'll put your name on my Sunday School prayer list. We have some prayers warriors in our group, and a mighty God.

I cannot say thank you enough to each and every one of you. I went through with my party today, I was there but not there, if you know what I mean. I pushed through and smiled and made sure to be polite and joyful (fake) but the kids absolutely loved it and so did the parents. In my car on the way, I just thought, "You know, these people want Me to make this party special. I am to be the big thing there to make this child's b-day what they want it to be." So I decided to suck it up and go make those kids smile.

Like you suggested Metina, I have decided to take my class gear and ask someone else at the church to handle things this month. I just will not do them justice right now. Thank goodness we have a great crew that I know will jump in.

I had a couple of people ask about bookings today but I just politely said thank you but I am already booked at that time.

I definitely need some time to just let this life mess sink in. think I will go take a bubble bath. Thank you to each and every one of you. You really made my evening.

sending, prayers, hugs, well wishes, and instructing you to eat chocolate. I've missed you on the forum. This shall pass.

THINKING OF YOU JODY!

So sorry you're having such a hard time at the moment, but glad to hear you're recognising you need some time for you. You're alredy heading in the right direction by asking for help and putting yourself first. Good for you. You are so so talented that I'm sure putting off bookings for now won't hurt your business at all. ((hugs)) and hoping you can join us all again soon.

Jody, no matter how it feels you are NOT alone. When life gets heavy and dark it is easy to forget that it IS okay to call upon our support circles. You can ask for help. You can ask for a shoulder to cry on. You CAN share your burdens. IT IS OK! And it will help.

Please promise yourself time every single day to take care of yourself. It does not have to be a big ordeal. It could simply be a cup of your favorite tea/coffee. Or lighting your favorite candle. Or taking 15 minutes with a book in the sun. Take the time, every day.

Try to keep your kitchen clean. I know it sounds silly (and may not be an issue for you) but it does help emotionally to be surrounded by tidiness. If you, like me, have issues keeping up check out www.flylady.net. She has a fantastic method.

Call a professional. You can find a counsellor through your county mental health department or YWCA. It really does help. Don't be embarrassed about it.

If you find your brain won't turn off, use some headphones. I use audiobooks now, but I used to listen to music. It's different through headphones than it is outloud. It seems to give me something else to focus on. It's just enough. If you have an iPhone/pad there is an app, audible books, that has a sleep timer so you don't lose your place in your book when you fall asleep. And yes, it does help me get to sleep without pondering all my problems subsequently dreaming of them.

Fake it til u make it. I love this line. Really. This was my mantra for almost a year. You CAN make it. You have strength inside you. Faking it gives you the time to find it.

Sorry for being windy and bossy. I have been there, more than once. If you want an unbiased listener feel free to pm me.

Warm fuzzies,
Summer

Jody, as Summer has said above, It might be exactly what you need right now, to speak to a professional that can help you sort through the rough spots and support you in dealing with them. Stay in contact with your family and friends, do not isolate yourself in times of need. You can do this

A big hug for you!!! just hope everything gets better for you!!

Jodi- I am felling for you With all life has thrown at me and my family in the last few years I am still finding myself on a roller coaster . I am prying for you .